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By Jill Page, Director of Education, Urban Family Council
Do you trust God? Do you trust Him to take you to heaven when you die to live with Him for all eternity? Do you trust Him to forgive your sins through Jesus’ shed blood that purifies you from all unrighteousness? God is trustworthy. He can be trusted in all these things and more. So we can trust what God says about sex, too; it was His idea.
What Does God Say About Sex?
God says that when He created men and women He made them different, and He says that is good. (Gen. 1:27) He says that a man should leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and the two will become one flesh. (Gen. 2:24; Ephes. 5:31) He tells us that sex is a good gift from Him, to be enjoyed within marriage between one man and one woman. (See the Songs of Solomon.) The marriage bed should be kept pure. (Heb. 13:4)
Pure is such a wonderful word. We like things to be pure. When we drink water, we want to know that the water is pure, not polluted. When we buy spices, we want to know that the jar is full of just spice, not with plain grass or weeds mixed in. God is pure. We are His image bearers and therefore need to reflect His purity.
A Lifestyle Of Purity Reflects God’s Purity
Sexual purity means reserving sex only for a spouse. God told us to be fruitful and multiply. (Gen. 1:28) Sex is the means for creating new life. God could have given us some boring way to conceive children, but He gave us this wonderful gift of sex.
Why Is Sex Just For Marriage?
There are lots of reasons to save the sex act for marriage. First, marriage is very special because it is a picture of the relationship between Christ and the Church. As such it needs to be honored and protected. (See Ephes. 5:24-32.)
Second, a loving, faithful, enduring marriage is a true blessing from the Lord worth protecting. By saving sex for marriage, you protect your future marriage.
Consequences Of Sex before Marriage
Cheating before a marriage will hurt, and possibly destroy, the marriage. Within marriage, the husband and wife have the security of a lifelong commitment to each other. They can relax and enjoy the sexual relationship. Surveys show that married people who are faithful to their spouses both before and after marriage have the highest levels of sexual satisfaction.
Western culture promotes sexual freedom, that is, have sex whenever you want to with whomever you want and you’ll be truly free. But does that really bring freedom?
What A Promiscuous Lifestyle Can Bring
a) First, sex outside marriage has physical risks.
Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STD’s) can be spread. We hear most about HIV because it leads to AIDS and death. But AIDS should not be our only concern—there are more than 25 significant STD’s.
Some STD’s can be easily treated and cured if the person is diagnosed. One of the problems is that many infected people don’t know they’re infected and don’t get treatment. They can then pass the disease on to someone else. Chlamydia can be treated and cured, but up to 75% of women and 50% of men with Chlamydia do not have any symptoms. Up to 40% of women with untreated Chlamydia will develop pelvic inflammatory disease (PID – an infection of the uterus, fallopian tubes and ovaries). PID can cause infertility, ectopic pregnancies and chronic pelvic pain.
Herpes infections are incurable. If a baby is infected with herpes from the mother during delivery, the baby can die or suffer severe brain damage. Human Papilloma Virus causes 99% of all cancer of the cervix which kills many women.
Pregnancy is also a risk whenever a man and woman engage in sex.
b) Second, emotional and relationship risks also accompany sex outside marriage.
Sex creates a bond between two people. It can make them think they have an intimate relationship, but the intimacy is actually shallow. True intimacy comes from taking the time to get to know each other and build a relationship based on trust, honesty, respect, communication, love, patience and kindness. Real love wants what is best for another person and is willing to sacrifice for that person.
Sex outside of marriage is never what is best for the other person. Instead of sacrificing personal pleasure to protect the other, it only takes temporary gratification from him or her.
Often in a sexual relationship, the woman will assume that the relationship is very close because she has given this physically intimate part of herself to the man. To her it means there is love, a connection between them. She will be crushed when she finds out the man has not shared those same thoughts.
When the relationship breaks up, both will suffer and feel as though they have left a piece of themselves behind. When this pattern is repeated with other people, the individual may harden himself or herself and develop bad attitudes toward the opposite sex. He or she may miss the opportunity to learn to communicate and express love in non-physical ways, and become jealous and clingy in relationships. Rather than building the skills needed for an enduring marriage, the person is establishing a pattern of breaking up as soon as something less than desirable appears in the other person. People become objects of sexual pleasure rather than individuals to be valued and protected. Later, when marriage does occur, these patterns can affect the marriage. Old memories and comparisons can distract and damage the relationship. Does that sound like freedom? That sounds to me like bondage.
The Case For Sexual Purity, part 2 >
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