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By Jill Page, Director of Education, Urban Family Council
Part 2
In Part 1 we discussed the following: 1) What God says about sex. 2) A lifestyle of sexual purity. 3) Why sex is just for marriage. 4) Consequences of sex before marriage. 5) Physical, emotional and relationship risks of sex outside of marriage.
True Sexual Freedom
Saving Sex For Marriage
An individual who decides to save sex for marriage reaps many benefits. Sticking to this commitment builds faith, maturity, self-control, discipline, and leadership skills. That person becomes a role model for siblings, peers and future children. He or she has the peace of following God’s plan, the joy of giving the gift of virginity to his or her spouse on the wedding night, and the blessing of saving his or her parents from pain. People will be drawn to a person who has learned to value and protect others, who shows character, confidence and faith. Plans for the future will not be interrupted by a broken heart, the pain of infertility, the complexities of unwed parenting, or a deadly infection. The wedding night and honeymoon become something to look forward to. Sex then is special, rather than just something to do. Freedom to enjoy the sexual relationship within marriage will be without fears of comparisons or distracting memories, and with the security of knowing that this person will be with you until death.
Are Condoms The Answer To Safe Sex?
Some suggest using condoms as the way to make sex safe and protect sexual freedom. Condoms do not make sex safe. If 100 couples use condoms for a year to prevent pregnancy, 15 of those couples will be pregnant by the end of the year. Condoms reduce the risk of HIV infection, but risk reduction is not the same as risk elimination. With a deadly disease, we need the risk elimination that a lifestyle of sexual purity gives. Condoms do little if anything to prevent the spread of HUMAN PAPILLOMA VIRUS because it can be spread through direct, intimate contact and condoms don’t cover everything. Condoms do not build character, protect the heart and emotions or build healthy relationships.
God Meant Sex To Be A Blessing
God gave us a good gift in our sexuality and created sex to be a blessing for married couples. When we try to get that blessing without the commitment of marriage, His good gift can become destructive. We forfeit true sexual freedom and experience suffering.
Do you believe that the living God who created you, knows you and loves you, wants to give you the joy of sex within a committed marriage and wants to spare you the pain of sex outside of marriage? Do you trust that His way is best? If you are a Christian and you think it’s okay to have sex before or outside of marriage, I believe you are demonstrating that you do not trust God. If we accept that God is loving, kind, merciful, and all-knowing, then we will not act as though He is withholding something good from us. We will trust that saving sex for marriage is His best for us.
If You Have Had Sex Before Marriage
If you’ve had sex before marriage, you may have experienced some of the consequences and risks I’ve described and you may regret your decision. Don’t give up and assume that since you’ve given your virginity away, you might as well just continue in sexual relationships. There is hope! Having sex outside of marriage was sin, but Jesus Christ came to die for our sins. If we ask him to forgive us, He will cleanse us and purify us from all unrighteousness. Our sins will be removed as far as the east is from the west. What a gift! Thank God for this amazing love and forgiveness and begin again. You are a new person. That sin is gone, wiped away.
As a new person, you will need to live in a new way to make sure you will not fall into this sin again. Ask God to give you the desire to be faithful to Him and His ways. Find others who will hold you accountable and pray with you and for you. Do not return to situations or settings that will be tempting. Realize that it may be more difficult for you because you know the pleasure sex can bring, but it will be well worth the effort to save sex for marriage as a renewed virgin.
Forced Sex
What if you have had sex before marriage, but not by choice—someone raped or sexually abused you? This sin is not yours; it is the sin of the person who raped or abused you. It was not your fault. Do not allow Satan to make you feel guilty. The pain from what you have experienced may be intense. Run to Jesus and ask Him to comfort you. Ask Him to make sex special again—something to look forward to in marriage. Ask for help so that the person does not hurt you again. Though you are not a virgin, you still get to give the gift for the first time. You can tell your husband or wife on your wedding night that this is the first time you are choosing to have sex willingly.
Sexual Purity The Goal
A lifestyle of sexual purity is the goal. When we commit to this lifestyle we experience true sexual freedom and demonstrate our trust in our loving heavenly Father.
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