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By Dr.Young Ok* as told to H. J. Kuleskey
After many years of studying very hard, I was coming to a position of success professionally and financially. Instead of being satisfied, I was lonely and empty-hearted. I was away from my family and I missed them so much that I sometimes cried. But my parents wanted their children to be educated, so I did not want to disobey them.
Both my father and mother had very difficult lives, so they wanted their children to be successful and make a lot of money. My father was born in North Korea. Shortly after the Korean War he came as a ten-year-old to South Korea with his eldest brother. At that time in North Korea even young boys were taken into the army. My grandmother wanted her sons out of that situation, so she sent them away.
My uncle sent my father to school, but they were very poor. Sometimes my father begged for money on the streets or worked at jobs like cleaning and polishing shoes. But he kept going to school and became a teacher.
My mother was the eldest of nine children and had to help at home. Her father did not allow her to go to high school. That disadvantage was very painful for her. She decided her five children would be educated. To help with our school fees, she sold furniture and later managed a gas station.
My father took good care of us children at home and at the school where he taught. He also liked his children to enjoy swimming and skating. Those were fun times. But we also have a painful memory of those days. My younger brother drowned while swimming when he was four or five years old. I was very young, but I remember how my parents grieved over his death.
My father was an atheist, so he had no God to turn to for comfort. He was, however, influenced by Confuscianism and both he and my uncle claimed that worshiping ancestors was important. Father used to say, “All religions are the same.” He thought the basic principles of meditation and prayer were the same in each religion.
Because Father was a self-made man, he wanted his children to be successful in the world and have a lot of money. He pushed us all hard to study. That discipline was very difficult for us children. Because the eldest son is very important in the Korean culture, Father wanted his eldest son to become a doctor. He pushed him continually. My brother obeyed Father and studied very hard, but he failed to make the required grades. He didn’t talk to the family about his situation; he thought Father would be angry and disappointed. He went to the mountains far away from our home town and just disappeared. We searched for him for a very long time. Finally we found his body; he had taken his own life. What a traumatic experience for all of us, especially for my father.
Father wanted me to become a pharmacist because medical university is very expensive, but when he saw my high school test scores, he changed his mind. I also received a scholarship. I did not want to go to the capital city, Seoul, to the university. I chose to attend the Christian Medical University near my home town. I went through six years of medical school, one year of internship and four years of residency (as a resident doctor). Later, I also studied general surgery to perform operations.
During my university studies I missed my family and was so lonely. I especially missed my mother. I would visit at home but the time was always very short. That didn’t take care of my loneliness. I was looking for an answer.
One day I met a fellow student whose father had died. I thought she must feel lonely, too. I learned that she lived with her mother and elder sister. However, her mother was very old and her sister was married, so she had no fellowship at home. We became very close friends.
In spite of her trials, this young woman had a lot of joy and peace in her life. I asked her about it. She told me about Jesus, the One who gives peace and joy. She suggested I attend church on Sundays and the Bible study groups. Every Sunday I prayed, “Lord, I want to become like my friend. I want to know You.” But nothing happened.
After about two years of praying, someone suggested I attend the Christian Medical Fellowship Camp. The camp workers placed me in the Evangelical Bible Study course. During one Bible study, God touched my heart and I could see my condition as a sinner. He helped me to repent of my sins and to confess Him as Savior and Lord. I was giving a testimony (using a microphone) when I realized that God loved me and had guided me even before I knew Him. He had allowed the loneliness in my life so He could fill that emptiness and fulfill my desires. I prayed aloud before everyone, “Lord, I am so glad to find Your love; I receive You as my Savior and Lord.” Many of the students prayed with me and celebrated my salvation.
After that experience, my life was very different. I could feel such peace and joy. I thank God that my parents did not forbid me to go to church. Since ours was a Christian hospital, they did not hire non-Christians. I told my parents that I wanted to work there and that I wanted to go to church. They granted me permisssion. They did not know that my heart was changed.
I had a Bible because the University taught a class in Bible. Now I began to read and meditate on the Word of God every morning. I attended the small group with my friend and learned a lot of the Bible. I also bought devotional books at the hospital’s Christian bookstore and grew in my Christian life.
It was at the University that I met a young man, Kyung Nam, who is now my husband. We were classmates and knew each other, but we disliked one another because we were so very different. He came from a Christian home and his interest was church, Bible study and Christian ministry. I came from a secular home and my one interest was study. After I came to Christ we attended the same small group, so we got to know each other well.
After graduating, he sometimes had free time and invited me to a movie. One evening he told me that he felt God wanted him to be a medical worker in a developing country. This idea was so new to me. I said it sounded good to work for God. He was happy that I had an open mind; he was praying that God would give me the same vision. I later met other young people who had the same vision.
As we spent more time together and I got to know Kyung Nam better, I began to like him. During internship we both knew that we would marry. My parents told us to wait because internship and the first two years of residency are extremely busy and demanding on doctors. We accepted their advice and waited until the last two years of residency to marry. The Lord has blessed our marriage with two lovely children, a son and a daughter. When my husband completed his military duty, we prayed much concerning our future and our vision. He suggested we visit to one of the countries where we could possibly serve. I agreed. Before we left, I had a dream. I saw a funeral service that was very different from our Korean ceremony. Several men were carrying the body of a young woman on a large board. As I looked at the body, I noticed a scowl on her face. It seemed the young woman had had a great fear of death. As I gazed at the face I felt the same emotion. I woke up and could not sleep again. I prayed about it for a long time, but I did not know what the dream meant. I finally fell asleep.
When we arrived in that country, God answered my prayer. On our last day there we visited a mosque. I stopped to pray for the local people when I saw a funeral ceremony. It was the very same ceremony I had seen in my dream. It was like looking at a video tape. I was very surprised and shared what I had dreamed with the Christian workers we were visiting. They felt that God had allowed me to see and feel the fear of a person dying without Christ. They assured me that many of the people of that religion died in fear. Right there I committed my life to the Lord to share the good news of the gospel wherever He sent us.
My husband and I have continued to prepare ourselves for service as medical workers. Several months ago we took a trip to the country where we will be working. I was shocked at the conditions in the aftermath of war. Most of the buildings have been destroyed. When I visited the hospital in the capital city I was in for another shock. I could not believe it was possible to operate under such poor conditions. There was no equipment to assist the doctors in testing or performing the surgery. During the operation the electric lights went out, but the surgeon continued his work.
When we returned from the hospital I cried all night. I kept asking the Lord if He thought I could live and serve there. I told Him I was so weak. The Lord gave me His assurance through Matthew 5:41: “If someone forces you to go a mile, go with him two miles.” As I meditated on that verse, I saw that the medical staff wanted us to help them because they could not overcome this situation by themselves.
I asked the Lord for peace of heart about returning to that situation. He reminded me of my father’s stories about our country, Korea, after the Korean war. The situation was very similar. After that I felt the same affection for this land as I felt for my own country. I want to become a friend to the local people and to serve them. I believe God will guide me and work through my life.
As I share the love of the Lord in a foreign land, I continue to believe and pray for the salvation of my family. I pray that those things that keep my father from Christ will be overcome. I pray he will see through our example that money and worldly success cannot satisfy a human heart or give peace. Only God’s Holy Spirit in our hearts can do that. I am so glad Jesus filled the emptiness in my life and continues to give me His peace and His presence daily.
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